I got word Saturday from my sister that my 86-y.o. father, from whom I've been completely estranged for > 10 years, is in the hospital. He has had five falls in the past two weeks due to dizziness, but didn't want to tell anyone and "bother" them.
The hospital has determined he is having memory problems, problems walking, and has "evidence of both acute and chronic brain bleeds" (probably from hitting his head when falling).
He will be discharged to rehab today, I think.
All of this is falling on my sister, who to the best of my knowledge, is the only person who he has any contact with and lives hundreds of miles away in another state. I have offered to help in any way I can from afar. She has also been dealing with her FIL's illness.
I've always wondered how I'd react to something like this. My first instinct is to take care of him and protect him, which I did not expect but makes me feel good about the core of my nature. I even thought of sending him a card. That impulse has passed, but I don't know what or how to feel or do. I think I will just avoid thinking about it too much.
I think it's in most people's nature to want to help family no matter what. I think you saw your sister's difficulties first and was considerate of her stressors. I can't even imagine how you feel but if it is making you feel better to help, it's totally worth it. Best wishes to you and your family k.
"The moon will change your mind."
steve
Big Hand
Songs Of A Lost World *CRUMPET BOY*
Post by madamebutterfly on Oct 7, 2023 23:38:42 GMT 1
starting to kinda feel human again after the flu hit me for a ball of Shirt or a freight train withever you prefer.. i am a smoker ~ the shame in saying that...yes kids say no to smoking say no to drugs say no to drinking say yes to learning and safe sex and be happy whatever you do... suffice to say i haven't stopped doing any of the things i do do but am slightly relieved that it has worked its way through my system now than later. babyshower to organise and then Halloween *yay*
Pipperoo
Big Hand
Songs Of A Lost World Moon Moderator
Horrid. I've had a torn PTTD tendon in my foot for 5 years now and it's starting to really get to me. I slept 1 hour last night due to shooting pains in my foot. They won't operate on it. I'm a mess. Any suggestions? At this point i want to cut off my foot.
"The moon will change your mind."
Pipperoo
Big Hand
Songs Of A Lost World Moon Moderator
Horrid. I've had a torn PTTD tendon in my foot for 5 years now and it's starting to really get to me. I slept 1 hour last night due to shooting pains in my foot. They won't operate on it. I'm a mess. Any suggestions? At this point i want to cut off my foot.
Horrid. I've had a torn PTTD tendon in my foot for 5 years now and it's starting to really get to me. I slept 1 hour last night due to shooting pains in my foot. They won't operate on it. I'm a mess. Any suggestions? At this point i want to cut off my foot.
My sister has been with my father in his town since Wednesday and will leave Monday. He may be discharged from rehab Friday, but we have no idea what his follow up care recommendations will be. Apparently he has more extensive cognitive problems (difficulty understanding safety hazards and with problem solving) than we knew, he is 6 ft. 2 inches tall and weighs 114 pounds, has brain bleeds and cardiomyopathy. My sister has not yet been able to speak to a doctor.
My sister's FIL is now receiving palliative care and is expected to live less than 6 weeks.
On a positive note, I sent a card to my father after my sister asked him if he would welcome it. My feeling is that his time and memory are limited. I only want to help his exit from this world be as positive as possible. I may even end up helping to take care of him or going to see him. For the first time I understand what people mean when they say forgiveness is for the benefit of those doing the forgiving. I always thought that was a crazy load of bunk. But it just sort of "happened." It couldn't be forced or rationalized.
I feel like death can be a gift in many ways.
Last Edit: Oct 8, 2023 16:02:17 GMT 1 by Deleted
steve
Big Hand
Songs Of A Lost World *CRUMPET BOY*
My sister has been with my father in his town since Wednesday and will leave Monday. He may be discharged from rehab Friday, but we have no idea what his follow up care recommendations will be. Apparently he has more extensive cognitive problems (difficulty understanding safety hazards and with problem solving) than we knew, he is 6 ft. 2 inches tall and weighs 114 pounds, has brain bleeds and cardiomyopathy. My sister has not yet been able to speak to a doctor.
My sister's FIL is now receiving palliative care and is expected to live less than 6 weeks.
On a positive note, I sent a card to my father after my sister asked him if he would welcome it. My feeling is that his time and memory are limited. I only want to help his exit from this world be as positive as possible. I may even end up helping to take care of him or going to see him. For the first time I understand what people mean when they say forgiveness is for the benefit of those doing the forgiving. I always thought that was a crazy load of bunk. But it just sort of "happened." It couldn't be forced or rationalized.
I feel like death can be a gift in many ways.
Jeebuz that's a mixed bunch of stuff to deal with. But it sounds like you're dealing at least. Sending hugs your way.
Thanks, steve . Was relieved to hear from my sis that she questioned the weight on our dad's chart and they reweighed him at 130 pounds today. I mean, on the other hand, HTH did that discrepancy occur in the first place? But at least it's good news.
On a positive note, I sent a card to my father after my sister asked him if he would welcome it. I only want to help his exit from this world be as positive as possible.
My dad used to tell this utterly obnoxious joke: “Does your face hurt? Because it’s killing me!”
Two weeks ago I painted our bedroom. Turns out one of the chemicals I’m highly allergic to (an anti fungal, anti mold agent) was in the paint. For two weeks I’ve had a terrible allergic reaction on my face and neck. It really hurts, my eye is swollen and I look a mess. Getting water on it feels like acid. Taking OTC allergy medicine and running an air purifier in my room at night, to no avail. Apparently with paint, this can last months until it’s dissipated. Of course this ingredient is not used in Europe because it’s so disruptive and it’s not disclosed here when it’s used.
I want to peel my face off.
Last Edit: Oct 15, 2023 13:45:26 GMT 1 by Deleted
steve
Big Hand
Songs Of A Lost World *CRUMPET BOY*
Two weeks ago I painted our bedroom. Turns out one of the chemicals I’m highly allergic to (an anti fungal, anti mold agent) was in the paint. For two weeks I’ve had a terrible allergic reaction on my face and neck. It really hurts, my eye is swollen and I look a mess. Getting water on it feels like acid. Taking OTC allergy medicine and running an air purifier in my room at night, to no avail. Apparently with paint, this can last months until it’s dissipated. Of course this ingredient is not used in Europe because it’s so disruptive and it’s not disclosed here when it’s used.
I want to peel my face off.
Eeek! The paint I'm using in the basement has similar agents in. Luckily I haven't had any reaction. But you wouldn't want to be near my basement at the moment
