How do you feel today?

I got word Saturday from my sister that my 86-y.o. father, from whom I've been completely estranged for > 10 years, is in the hospital. He has had five falls in the past two weeks due to dizziness, but didn't want to tell anyone and "bother" them.

The hospital has determined he is having memory problems, problems walking, and has "evidence of both acute and chronic brain bleeds" (probably from hitting his head when falling).

He will be discharged to rehab today, I think. 

All of this is falling on my sister, who to the best of my knowledge, is the only person who he has any contact with and lives hundreds of miles away in another state. I have offered to help in any way I can from afar. She has also been dealing with her FIL's illness. 

I've always wondered how I'd react to something like this. My first instinct is to take care of him and protect him, which I did not expect but makes me feel good about the core of my nature. I even thought of sending him a card. That impulse has passed, but I don't know what or how to feel or do. I think I will just avoid thinking about it too much. 

So sorry you're having to go through this. Family dynamics can be fraught with conflicted feelings, but it sounds like you are being the better person by having so much compassion towards him. I would focus on helping your sister mitigate the situation, she's the one that needs support most right now.

Wish I could give you better advice, but all I can give is well wishes and sympathy. (((hugs)))

yeesh, sorry to hear this. Paraphrasing what neomoxie said, familial relationships are hard. A lot of time unavoidable, even when situations make them the last thing you want to deal with. 

There is a societal "expectation" from some people, that just because someone is family, you owe each other something regardless of what past and present are or were, and really, that's just BS, people should stay in their lane and mind their own damned business. 

Wishing you all the best. 
J

Good luck

Thanks for your support and kind words gongoro73, neomoxie, nausearockpig, and sandgrounder. For as much as I unload here, I really do love my life and have more happy than difficult things to think about.

Thanks. I do try to plan things but so much keeps messing up and my stupid illnesses hinder me even more. I cannot really rest as then I get behind on stuff and even more of a mountain to climb so I try to push through it. I just wish it didn't cause so much pain. I do have a day out this weekend shopping and a decent record shop to visit, so I hope I will be ok to go through with it.