Super down. Truthfully, I’ve been feeling this way for awhile now (a few years)I know I need to pull the trigger and get it over with, but I’m shiat scared of going ahead with it (we’re talking work here). I’m definitely being a coward, but the fear of uncertainty keeps me where I am. I’ve made choices in life that have made this decision more difficult (I’m single, so I don’t have support), but again, I put myself in this position. I feel ducked either way. Ah.
Hang in there. Put out some resumes & see what happens. You may get a pleasant surprise!
Exhausted after an 8 hour hell drive yesterday. Google maps sent me on a 2 lane highway through the mountains for the first part of the journey. Twisty turny roads at high elevation. Once I got over to the west side I find it has turned into Blade Runner due to wildfires. Seattle had the worst air in the world yesterday. It's cleared up some today but still feel sick. & my back is destroyed. It was worth the effort though. I saw 2 quite different excellent sets from my favorite band in 3 days. I'm on (legal) drugs today & taking it easy. I'll write more about the shows later. 1 of those days where unconscious is best, haha.
I had a tyre blow-out on the motorway on Friday. I should have been home by 1.40pm, got home at 5.30pm. I had been looking forward to Friday night football under the lights, but that was cancelled. I stayed home, got really drunk and fell asleep with my shoes on. Friday has always been my favourite day. Not this Friday. Probably my worst Friday for ages. I hate when I fall asleep with my shoes on.
I had a tyre blow-out on the motorway on Friday. I should have been home by 1.40pm, got home at 5.30pm. I had been looking forward to Friday night football under the lights, but that was cancelled. I stayed home, got really drunk and fell asleep with my shoes on. Friday has always been my favourite day. Not this Friday. Probably my worst Friday for ages. I hate when I fall asleep with my shoes on.
Super down. Truthfully, I’ve been feeling this way for awhile now (a few years)I know I need to pull the trigger and get it over with, but I’m shiat scared of going ahead with it (we’re talking work here). I’m definitely being a coward, but the fear of uncertainty keeps me where I am. I’ve made choices in life that have made this decision more difficult (I’m single, so I don’t have support), but again, I put myself in this position. I feel ducked either way. Ah.
If it's work then you have to break yourself out of that cycle for your own good. If you don't you're going to feel lower & lower as it drags on.
Super down. Truthfully, I’ve been feeling this way for awhile now (a few years)I know I need to pull the trigger and get it over with, but I’m shiat scared of going ahead with it (we’re talking work here). I’m definitely being a coward, but the fear of uncertainty keeps me where I am. I’ve made choices in life that have made this decision more difficult (I’m single, so I don’t have support), but again, I put myself in this position. I feel ducked either way. Ah.
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. This is a solvable "problem", though, lest you feel hopeless. It will take time, energy, and a tolerance for uncertainty to make a change, but you deserve to not feel atrociously about your life's work, if not love it.
Super down. Truthfully, I’ve been feeling this way for awhile now (a few years)I know I need to pull the trigger and get it over with, but I’m shiat scared of going ahead with it (we’re talking work here). I’m definitely being a coward, but the fear of uncertainty keeps me where I am. I’ve made choices in life that have made this decision more difficult (I’m single, so I don’t have support), but again, I put myself in this position. I feel ducked either way. Ah.
Hang in there. Put out some resumes & see what happens. You may get a pleasant surprise!
tBh - I’ve been looking for a new job since I came back from Ottawa. From the research I’ve done (and I’ve done plenty) If I left my current position for one similar to what I have now, I’d be making half of what I currently make. If go that route, then I wouldn’t be able to afford much. I could scrap by, but it would be just barely. I could move to a different city, but the cost of living is insane in this country. Salaries have been frozen for years and the price of housing and food just keeps on going up and up. I feel very fortunate to be making what I do, and appreciate all the health benefits I get (eg dentist). But Is that enough? I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. I feel trapped. My skin is exploding into a horrible mess, and I know part of it has to do with the stress I’m dealing with. Today is not a good day over here.
Last Edit: Sept 11, 2022 21:49:23 GMT 1 by Danielle
Hang in there. Put out some resumes & see what happens. You may get a pleasant surprise!
tBh - I’ve been looking for a new job since I came back from Ottawa. From the research I’ve done (and I’ve done plenty) If I left my current position for one similar to what I have now, I’d be making half of what I currently make. If go that route, then I wouldn’t be able to afford much. I could scrap by, but it would be just barely. I could move to a different city, but the cost of living is insane in this country. Salaries have been frozen for years and the price of housing and food just keeps on going up and up. I feel very fortunate to be making what I do, and appreciate all the health benefits I get (eg dentist). But Is that enough? I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. I feel trapped. My skin is exploding into a horrible mess, and I know part of it has to do with the stress I’m dealing with. Today is not a good day over here.
Very sorry to read this. I send you my best hopes whatever route you decide to take in the future. It’s not easy, as earning half the money you make now is a tough decision.
On the other hand, if you are feeling so bad for so long (so bad you need to share it with complete “strangers”), it means to me that you really need a total change, sooner or later, before work destroy you. I think that living more modestly but happy in work may bring you more confort and happiness than feeling miserable for such a long time, even with more money in your pocket. As you don’t have kids, you are free to make your own choices without compromising anyone with those choices.
I know talking from the distance is easy and decisions like those you need to make are complex, but I encourage you to not fear what future may bring if your present is not what it should be. Don’t be afraid, be brave. Estoy seguro de que tendrás buena suerte. ¡Ánimo, Danielle!
Super down. Truthfully, I’ve been feeling this way for awhile now (a few years)I know I need to pull the trigger and get it over with, but I’m shiat scared of going ahead with it (we’re talking work here). I’m definitely being a coward, but the fear of uncertainty keeps me where I am. I’ve made choices in life that have made this decision more difficult (I’m single, so I don’t have support), but again, I put myself in this position. I feel ducked either way. Ah.
If it's work then you have to break yourself out of that cycle for your own good. If you don't you're going to feel lower & lower as it drags on.
It's awful being trapped in toxic workplace. I feel for you @danielle, all the best matey.
If you have a lead on Brisbane 21 August 1992 - CT version, for the love of Bob, let me know. Please!
As always, thank you chuckrh , steve , and @notkristie for being my sounding board. I really appreciate it. I will get myself out of this mess.
At risk of sounding "self-helpy", you didn't get yourself into a mess. That implies poor decision-making. You made the best choice you could at the time. Now, you and your life are different. There's good and bad to be taken from every situation and in every life. We can outgrow our choices. Nothing at all wrong with that.
tBh - I’ve been looking for a new job since I came back from Ottawa. From the research I’ve done (and I’ve done plenty) If I left my current position for one similar to what I have now, I’d be making half of what I currently make. If go that route, then I wouldn’t be able to afford much. I could scrap by, but it would be just barely. I could move to a different city, but the cost of living is insane in this country. Salaries have been frozen for years and the price of housing and food just keeps on going up and up. I feel very fortunate to be making what I do, and appreciate all the health benefits I get (eg dentist). But Is that enough? I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. I feel trapped. My skin is exploding into a horrible mess, and I know part of it has to do with the stress I’m dealing with. Today is not a good day over here.
Very sorry to read this. I send you my best hopes whatever route you decide to take in the future. It’s not easy, as earning half the money you make now is a tough decision.
On the other hand, if you are feeling so bad for so long (so bad you need to share it with complete “strangers”), it means to me that you really need a total change, sooner or later, before work destroy you. I think that living more modestly but happy in work may bring you more confort and happiness than feeling miserable for such a long time, even with more money in your pocket. As you don’t have kids, you are free to make your own choices without compromising anyone with those choices.
I know talking from the distance is easy and decisions like those you need to make are complex, but I encourage you to not fear what future may bring if your present is not what it should be. Don’t be afraid, be brave. Estoy seguro de que tendrás buena suerte. ¡Ánimo, Danielle!
Still hurting from the 8 hour drive on Saturday & sick from the air pollution. It's cleared up some but on Saturday the air was pretty much toxic from the wildfire smoke. Coming down the west side of the mountains it literally looked like LA in Blade Runner. It was reported to be the worst air in the world in Seattle on Saturday. The fires are still burning but the winds have shifted. Several towns were evacuated. On a normal day I can see the island in the middle of Puget Sound that's only a few miles away. I literally couldn't see it as I drove down the hill to myself. Pretty scary.