New interview with Robert

A new interview with Robert Smith has come out; for some reason Robert decided to answer every question using only titles of his songs, though. Here's the full transcript of the interview:

Interviewer: hi Robert!

Robert Smith: Hey you!

I: How are you?

RS: I'm cold.

I: Oh, I'm sorry, I'll turn on the heating!

RS: Hot! Hot! Hot!

I: Oh, sorry, did I turn it up too much? Let me dial it back... Anyway, thank you so much for agreeing to this interview. I know you're not a big fan of interviews and media in general...

RS: Torture. It's not you.

I: I'm glad to hear its nothing personal. Anyway, we're very glad to have you here. Let me start with the most pressing question every fan of The Cure probably has at the moment: what's happened to the new album? When will it be released?

RS: Maybe someday.

I: Well, at least you didn't say "Never"... what's holding it back?

RS: I don't know what's going on.

I: I thought you were in charge of things... Anyway, after hearing a few songs live in the last couple of years, your fans are expecting something epic. Can you tell us what it sounds like overall?

RS: Out of this world. The loudest sound.

I: I believe you. Endsong sounded fantastic live, so powerful. I can't wait for its studio version to be released, if it is ever released, at this point...

RS: There is no if.

I: Ah, good, I take it as a declaration of good intentions, perhaps even a promise?

RS: The promise.

I: And how about the lyrics, are they all done?

RS: Babble.

I: Well, some of the songs you premiered live were very personal, I imagine it wasn't easy for you to go there, was it?

RS: Going nowhere.

I: mmm, OK, I suppose it's a sensitive topic... By the way, I've seen some supposedly leaked tracklists of the new album on the web...

RS: Fake.

I: I see... I thought so too... Back to the release date, sorry if I insist, is there any chance it may be released this year?

RS: Doubt.

I: And how about that other album of lighter material that was supposedly basically ready?

RS: Lost.

I: Oh, that's a pity! Did you lose the recordings?

RS: In your house.

I: What?!

RS: The upstairs room.

I: OK, you're joking. You're joking, right? Anyway, could you give us an anticipation on some of the titles of the new songs we haven't heard yet, please?

RS: Secrets.

I: OK, fair enough. I guess you're not too keen on talking about the upcoming album... So let me ask you, more generally, about your creative process: where and when do you usually write your songs?

RS: At night. Underneath the stars. From the edge of the deep green sea. The last day of summer.

I: So, does that mean you only write music once a year? That would explain a few things...

RS: This is a lie.

I: So you write more often?

RS: How beautiful you are, sugar girl. The perfect girl! Why can't I be you?

I: Is this your way of dodging a question and changing topic?

RS: Let's go to bed.

I: ehm, this is getting weird. And inappropriate...

RS: Just say yes.

I: OK, I'm a big fan of yours, but this is going in the wrong direction... Maybe we should stop here...

RS: Cut. Cut here. Homesick.

I: Ah, OK, I see, you were getting tired and want to go home?

RS: Home. All I want. Please come home.

I: Ah, not again!

RS: Just one kiss. The kiss. Give me it. Waiting...

I: OK, I have to ask you to leave now.

RS: End.